This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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