it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
