Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
