try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
