I want to stick my p in your. b.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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