maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
