I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I will pee on everything he values.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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