Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
