but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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