2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
