Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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