trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
