i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
