I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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