there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
