Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
