We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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