I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize