If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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