I wanna bring you to show and tell
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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