Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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