To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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