i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
