I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
OPIZZABONMYDICK
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
