do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
