I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize