I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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