this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
