It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
