we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
