bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
