u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
