well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize