I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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