But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
