Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
