tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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