so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
