I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
