I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This baby is an asshole
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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