If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
