We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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