Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
