Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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