Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize