He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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