It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
