new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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