She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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