you guys were way drunker than both of me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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