there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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