Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
