I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The adults are the big ones right?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
