Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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