take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
