She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
