The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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