just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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