i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
