so that wasnt chicken after all
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
