I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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