the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
