dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
